When we want it so bad.

It is funny how when you are a child and you are in a situation where you are not getting what you want, you never give up on going after it. Eventually asking turns into demanding. Often this leaves your parents caving in and giving you exactly what you want just to keep you quiet. That is how many children get their puppy! If you think a puppy is a lot of work, it's a lot more work trying to make your child get over the idea of owning one.

Sometimes the lesson parents try to teach their children by not always giving them what they want often turns out to be less of a lesson for the child and more of a pain for the parents. Don't deprive your children of something that they absolutely have to have or you will never hear the end of it. We have all seen that child at Wal-Mart stomping their feet and then finally falling to the ground in starfish position screaming loudly. How EMBARRASSING is this? You just walk by, laugh to yourself, and hope that none of the other shoppers will be able to point out this child's mother in the next isle around the corner pretending this kid is not hers. Whether the child gets what they want that day or the next time they shop there.... they always get what they WANT.

Some people may wish it could be this easy in adulthood. That every time you do not get what you want all you have to do is cry for it and POOF it's yours!

Unfortunately that is not the way life works. Crying over that guy who is just not that into you, will not make him fall in love with you. When the dynamics of your friendships or your family have changed, it is sad and it is unfortunate but sometimes you just cant do anything to rewind and erase life or change someone else's heart. When all along you had a certain plan for yourself and it just hasn't happened, stomping and screaming doesn't make it fall into place. When you were steps away from obtaining your dream job but you just didn't get it, it hurts and you will cry but it won't help you achieve it anymore than the attempts you have already made. It is sad when some people can't see your potential or your true value and just turn you away quickly.

You just have to move on and accept that things happen for a reason. Life goes on. Your story will start to make sense some where along this road. Certain people weren't meant to be a part of your life. Life was meant to fall into place the way that it has even if you envisioned a lifestyle completely different. Dream and reality are completely different terms. The hard work you put into finding meaningful work is a learning experience, watching the opportunities pass you by only makes you headstrong for the next attempt. Life is meant to be this way even when your end goal hasn't been reached. It is all about luck these days and you can't lure in what you want with tears and a public scream this time.

Parents really do not have to worry about teaching the young that you can't have everything you want. Life itself will teach that lesson over the course of many many years. Don't ever give up on going after what you want but play fairly, keep an open mind, and remember we can't always have what we want. Just be proud of what you do have and continue working hard, something will pay off in the end whether you imagined it for yourself or not. You just have to stay strong.

The Future

Life's a lot to think about, almost too much to think about at times. The society we live in is vastly changing.Many people are succussfully getting ahead while many more people just cannot keep up. They say do not dwell over the past, don't worry to much about the future, just live life to the fullest at the present time..... how can we? How can we not worry about the future when the present time is nothing but a scary place.

The world goes round in stages, environmentally, financially, and socially. First world countries are at the the top of the game. The rich are moving ahead while the poor continue to be victims of the most awful cycle created by human beings. When first world countries become a scary place that only means that the third world countries are suffering even more. Why do we let this happen?

Consider the challenges our society faces today... unemployment rates are at an all time high even after being out of a recession. Generation Y invested tens of thousands of dollars into higher education trusting that a degree would provide a successful future. The painful reality that we discovered 4-5 years later is....it did not give everyone this promise. The dream is farther away than we thought. Higher education did not get everyone farther away from what highschool would have given them.

Divorce rate is at 48% and steadily rising, what does this have to say about the institution of the family? Homes are becoming broken. It's the children who are suffering the most. Church attendance is declining.Where will generations below us internalize life and family values?.....from their dysfunctional family?The number of children being apprehended by CAS is increasing.Whatever that number may be do people realize that this is more than just a statistic? It's our future. Children are supposed to be the leaders of our future. What kind of leaders will they become when their generation has been immensely traumatized by pain, broken families, a having to experience financial struggles with unemployed parents.

When baby boomers retire are we not expecting higher healthcare costs? as if its not costly enough already. Housing market is unstable, cost of living is increasing, the goverment is tacking on more and more taxes. What are we trying to establish for our future?

The issues we have with crime rates, illegal drug use, teenage pregnancy, mental illness, and debt do we expect these to be eradicated anytime soon at the rate that we are moving? These are all critical social issues;issues that would not exist if people had not created them.

Think about your life.Action plan for your future.

Failure

At a young age we are told to dream big. Never lose sight of our dreams. Believe and we will achieve. Your dreams change drastically over time. Reality sets in as you journey through each stage of life and realize that your interests and priorities are shifting. Dreams may become larger or they may shrink in size based on the circumstances you currently face. Dreams could become bigger as you realize that your hard work and determination is paying off and progressively lining each one of your ducks in a row exactly the way you anticipated.
On the other hand life could be going in the completely opposite direction but your dreams may be getting larger as experiences push you to desire a different living for yourself. For instance the girl that once longed for her one true love may turn to aspire for nothing but independence and accepts lonliness. The girl indepentant and stronger than the average person around her could be ready to give up everything she built for herself only to love and be loved by that one person. The girl who found independence, true love, and fulfilled every childhood dream may be reevaluating her successes and questioning whether this really was a dream come true.

Nothing is more disappointing than discovering that what you've been longing for is so far out of your sight. Dreaming can be so exhausting. The emotional rollercoater that it pushes you on when nothing falls into place the way you wanted or everything did fall into place the way you imagined but your heart just does not feel happiness. Chasing dreams can be so exhausting, almost to the point where you begin to believe that dreams are all a matter of luck rather than your internal locus of control. Your hard work and determination should make you feel closer to your dream, but the chase is so overwhelming that the reality of your dreams are moving farther away from you. One obstacle after the other falls in front of your feet. The pain sets and the tears fall as you watch someone around you living your dream. That person who did not nearly try as hard as you, that person that only ran three feet and not a mile like you. We cry when we cannot have what we want. We give up because its so much easier than dealing with the overwhelming cloud of confusion lingering over us. Things happen for a reason and sometimes the goals you set are unachieved for a reason. Sometimes tasting failure is the true success of your life. Failure changes your perception of yourself and the world around you. Failure may help you discover your true identity and your purpose in every institution. Feeling exhausted from chasing your dreams can trigger anger and frustration that will lead you to give up in the end. Things happen for a reason so maybe giving up on your dream and the exhausting chase will help you breath. Appreciate life. Live with the resources you currently have. Let go of dreams and let them run wild on their own even if it means they fall away from your sight for a long period. Maybe with time and zero effort they will come back to be your reality. If it doesnt ever happen, then those dreams were never you.

The plan

Every human being struggles. Weather we struggle physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, financially -it is all an equally painful struggle. Sometimes you feel that you struggle more frequently than others. Most of the time when we experience a strain on one aspect of our life we tend to internalize this notion that we are suffering alone. Even when you witness sad faces and sense bitter attitudes around you - you tend to believe that this negative person before you does not nearly have it as tough as you do. Often emotional rollercoasters run so high and fall down before a blink of the eye so much that you believe barriers and obstacles follow you a like your shadow.

At times of struggle it is so easy to believe that everyone around you is living the dream, while you stand aside feeling uneasy. Constantly it feels like you're chasing the dream but making no progress. Nothing but hopes falling down and crashing before you.

There are several motivation sayings that articulate struggle as a mechanism used to make us stronger in our spiritual being. Once we have overcome one struggle we feel high on life. We can finally breathe,and we feel undefeated. Once life takes a turn in a way that is undesired we lose our breath and become overwhelmed by yet another problem that we need to fight. Our hearts filled with tension and our mind filled with doubt. The pain of not knowing how long we will be on the battle field wears heavy on our heart. Eventually the feeling of constant struggle is so familar that you won't cry when the pain sets in - because as we grow and each struggle makes us stronger.

The feeling of struggle eventaully convinces you to take your own advice. When we see people dear to us struggle, we feel that it is our duty to support them through their difficult times. Providing our helping hands in any way possible to make this person we love feel that they are not alone during their time of hardship. Encouraging this person to believe they can conquer the situations causing them sorrow. Believing that God has a plan for everyone and that everything happens for a reason. We share encouraging words with loved ones, telling them that in our own times of signifcant struggle our faith carried us through. Explaining that in the end everything eventually fell into place the way we needed them to be. The words we share are true. We use our stories to inspire others. To keep others hanging on to hope and leaving life in the hands of fate, because whatever happens is all apart of the plan.

Why is it so much easier said then done? It's like we have this natural instinct to immediately influence others and direct them towards positive thinking. Yet when nothing but negative thoughts take over our minds we have no way of climbing out of a deep hole. Always encouraging others to have a little more faith in themselves and believe that they can overcome any struggle. Yet when we feel it is riding heavy on our hearts we often can't visual our painful struggles subsiding from our own lives.

We analyze every aspect of our struggle and fear the potential problems it could cause and in the those moments we rarely ever stop to think:
hey, I have been here before and I have made it out of these situations in the past. We never stop to think:
so what if I can't shape life to be exactly the way I want it to be... at least I have life. ...at least I'm breathing and have the privilege to live life freely.

There are too many people in this world who cannot maintain the basic standards of living. Too many people who do not have the freedom to create their own identity. They do not have the privilege to love openly and build relationships with people who they find things in common with.Too many people who do not get to attend school. People who never had a chance to cruise through early stages of life with love and support from parents. Too many people who do not get to the enjoy the true beauty of being unique human being. Too many people who cannot see, speak, or hear. Too many people who will never get to walk or dance. And too many people who are unloved.

With this being said, if we're going to constantly make others feel better about their struggles by embracing the gift of life in itself. ...then maybe we should take a step back the next time our hearts are consumed with pain and take a minute to think about the good in our life before letting the bad destory our emotional stabilty. Realistically, there are people in parts of the world who endure unbareable pain that pains us only to imagine.

The struggle is all apart of life and its all apart of the plan. If you do not feel struggle then that only means you never really cared about your plan.

UNCERTAINTY

Uncertainty is like a cloud of confusion hovering over you. Somedays you feel that its precipitation is falling heavy on your shoulders. Other days this cloud is so light you barely know its there. It will creep up and overwhelm you as it showers you with its gifts of anxiety. The purpose of this is to force you to touch base with your reality. There is so much uncertainty surrounding our day-to-day activities, uncertainty anywhere from not knowing what you want to eat to the uncertainty of not knowing who you are, how you feel, and what to do as age transitions you into various stages of life.
Questions are constantly probed but answers are very rarely delivered; this is the root of where uncertainty stems. There is uncertainty of whether or not every good deed will actually pay off. Uncertainty of whether or not every dollar you invest in your education will be worth it. The uncertainty of whether or not everything you allow your body to intake will have a good impact on your health. There is uncertainty surrounding the intimate relationships and friendships that you put forth so much of your love and energy towards; is it appreciated? will it last forever?
Meritocracy; we are encouraged to better ourselves and aspire to our fullest potential because individual merit will help us successfully cruise through each chapter of our lives. Yet this cloud of uncertainty will still hover over you. Uncertainty of whether or not your hard work and dedication to highly demonstrate your most prominant abilities will bring you the happiness, and the intrinsic and extrinsic rewards that you seek. Think critically, "follow fact not feeling", again uncertainty surrounds you because really who is to say "fact" has been proven to be superior to your instinct feelings?
We chase after our dreams; our dream man, our dream job, our dream home, and we create our ideal family setting so it feels like you're living the dream. However there is uncertainty - are your stars are aligned in favour of making your dreams reality?can we rely on stars?
So, with all this being said maybe we should encourage ourselves and generations beneath us to deal with the reality of uncertainty rather than emphasizing wishing, waiting, hoping, and putting on this facade that we know everything and have everything. Nothing is secure. Why continue depending on this thought that everything we hope for will come true will come true and will make everything fall into place nicely just the way we desire. Everything will fall into place nicely just the way you desire if you believe you can make it fall into place and do everything in your power to achieve. But you have to live with the uncertainty. Your efforts may actually leave you burnt out rather than feeling the satisfaction of accomplishing self-actualized goals- you just have to accept the uncertainity of whether success or failure is going to meet you at the end of the road. Prepare yourself to deal with life when things do not flow as smoothing as you envisioned. At the end of the day our ability to live with unanswered questions and a handfull of struggle is what makes us a strong person.Accept uncertainty likes it is your friend and not your enemy. No matter what....... it is going to hover over you.

HeArts are broken EverYday

Hearts are broken everyday, at times you may feel like its your heart breaking everyday.
Lately my heart has been breaking upon learning the reality of the battles and stresses that my friends, family, and even complete strangers have to endure. Every day is a new day and I wish their pain away. I pray that hearts will be mended; mended from the pain of being hurt by someone elses insentive actions, mended from the pain of losing a loved one because in this vastly changing society it becomes harder and harder to find people who love and can be loved, mended from the tragic curve balls life throws at you, mended from the financial stresses this recession has caused, mended from the dreams that are shattered, mended from the responsibilties and duties we loathe but have to do, mended from the cancers and illnesses that fill our hearts with fear. If hearts are broken everyday, we WILL be okay as long a these hearts are mended back together so that no one has to view life as a miserable journey each day. Next time you see a rude obnoxious person.. take a deep breath and tolerate it because somewhere within there is story as to why their heart is broken....and that is most likely what they chose to inflict their misery on others, not that this makes their behaviour excusible but at least we can relate to the harsh reality of broken heart.

Never regret....

Never regret anything that made you smile, laugh out loud, or made you take a deep breath that felt like you were inhaling life. Even if whatever you are doing feels right in the moment but deep inside you know in the long term it might not be the best for you: take it in anyways and live it up until the moment passes. We should not feel compelled to regret the things that make us happy. No matter how many people stand on the outside watching you with disappointed faces, critical comments, and act too quick to tell you how to live your life ; do not listen to them! do not let their negativety bring you down. We live in a diverse society, with diverse people, and diverse perceptions. Ignore the looking glass self and focus on your own thoughts of self. Never feel guilty for enjoying something that brings happiness to your heart. There is no such thing as dreaming wrong. No matter how different your dreams is from the dreams of other individuals in your like, just keep dreaming your dream. Only you have the power to set the stage for your dreams to come true.Never regret something that made or makes you feel like you are living life to the fullest.