Failure

At a young age we are told to dream big. Never lose sight of our dreams. Believe and we will achieve. Your dreams change drastically over time. Reality sets in as you journey through each stage of life and realize that your interests and priorities are shifting. Dreams may become larger or they may shrink in size based on the circumstances you currently face. Dreams could become bigger as you realize that your hard work and determination is paying off and progressively lining each one of your ducks in a row exactly the way you anticipated.
On the other hand life could be going in the completely opposite direction but your dreams may be getting larger as experiences push you to desire a different living for yourself. For instance the girl that once longed for her one true love may turn to aspire for nothing but independence and accepts lonliness. The girl indepentant and stronger than the average person around her could be ready to give up everything she built for herself only to love and be loved by that one person. The girl who found independence, true love, and fulfilled every childhood dream may be reevaluating her successes and questioning whether this really was a dream come true.

Nothing is more disappointing than discovering that what you've been longing for is so far out of your sight. Dreaming can be so exhausting. The emotional rollercoater that it pushes you on when nothing falls into place the way you wanted or everything did fall into place the way you imagined but your heart just does not feel happiness. Chasing dreams can be so exhausting, almost to the point where you begin to believe that dreams are all a matter of luck rather than your internal locus of control. Your hard work and determination should make you feel closer to your dream, but the chase is so overwhelming that the reality of your dreams are moving farther away from you. One obstacle after the other falls in front of your feet. The pain sets and the tears fall as you watch someone around you living your dream. That person who did not nearly try as hard as you, that person that only ran three feet and not a mile like you. We cry when we cannot have what we want. We give up because its so much easier than dealing with the overwhelming cloud of confusion lingering over us. Things happen for a reason and sometimes the goals you set are unachieved for a reason. Sometimes tasting failure is the true success of your life. Failure changes your perception of yourself and the world around you. Failure may help you discover your true identity and your purpose in every institution. Feeling exhausted from chasing your dreams can trigger anger and frustration that will lead you to give up in the end. Things happen for a reason so maybe giving up on your dream and the exhausting chase will help you breath. Appreciate life. Live with the resources you currently have. Let go of dreams and let them run wild on their own even if it means they fall away from your sight for a long period. Maybe with time and zero effort they will come back to be your reality. If it doesnt ever happen, then those dreams were never you.

The plan

Every human being struggles. Weather we struggle physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, financially -it is all an equally painful struggle. Sometimes you feel that you struggle more frequently than others. Most of the time when we experience a strain on one aspect of our life we tend to internalize this notion that we are suffering alone. Even when you witness sad faces and sense bitter attitudes around you - you tend to believe that this negative person before you does not nearly have it as tough as you do. Often emotional rollercoasters run so high and fall down before a blink of the eye so much that you believe barriers and obstacles follow you a like your shadow.

At times of struggle it is so easy to believe that everyone around you is living the dream, while you stand aside feeling uneasy. Constantly it feels like you're chasing the dream but making no progress. Nothing but hopes falling down and crashing before you.

There are several motivation sayings that articulate struggle as a mechanism used to make us stronger in our spiritual being. Once we have overcome one struggle we feel high on life. We can finally breathe,and we feel undefeated. Once life takes a turn in a way that is undesired we lose our breath and become overwhelmed by yet another problem that we need to fight. Our hearts filled with tension and our mind filled with doubt. The pain of not knowing how long we will be on the battle field wears heavy on our heart. Eventually the feeling of constant struggle is so familar that you won't cry when the pain sets in - because as we grow and each struggle makes us stronger.

The feeling of struggle eventaully convinces you to take your own advice. When we see people dear to us struggle, we feel that it is our duty to support them through their difficult times. Providing our helping hands in any way possible to make this person we love feel that they are not alone during their time of hardship. Encouraging this person to believe they can conquer the situations causing them sorrow. Believing that God has a plan for everyone and that everything happens for a reason. We share encouraging words with loved ones, telling them that in our own times of signifcant struggle our faith carried us through. Explaining that in the end everything eventually fell into place the way we needed them to be. The words we share are true. We use our stories to inspire others. To keep others hanging on to hope and leaving life in the hands of fate, because whatever happens is all apart of the plan.

Why is it so much easier said then done? It's like we have this natural instinct to immediately influence others and direct them towards positive thinking. Yet when nothing but negative thoughts take over our minds we have no way of climbing out of a deep hole. Always encouraging others to have a little more faith in themselves and believe that they can overcome any struggle. Yet when we feel it is riding heavy on our hearts we often can't visual our painful struggles subsiding from our own lives.

We analyze every aspect of our struggle and fear the potential problems it could cause and in the those moments we rarely ever stop to think:
hey, I have been here before and I have made it out of these situations in the past. We never stop to think:
so what if I can't shape life to be exactly the way I want it to be... at least I have life. ...at least I'm breathing and have the privilege to live life freely.

There are too many people in this world who cannot maintain the basic standards of living. Too many people who do not have the freedom to create their own identity. They do not have the privilege to love openly and build relationships with people who they find things in common with.Too many people who do not get to attend school. People who never had a chance to cruise through early stages of life with love and support from parents. Too many people who do not get to the enjoy the true beauty of being unique human being. Too many people who cannot see, speak, or hear. Too many people who will never get to walk or dance. And too many people who are unloved.

With this being said, if we're going to constantly make others feel better about their struggles by embracing the gift of life in itself. ...then maybe we should take a step back the next time our hearts are consumed with pain and take a minute to think about the good in our life before letting the bad destory our emotional stabilty. Realistically, there are people in parts of the world who endure unbareable pain that pains us only to imagine.

The struggle is all apart of life and its all apart of the plan. If you do not feel struggle then that only means you never really cared about your plan.

UNCERTAINTY

Uncertainty is like a cloud of confusion hovering over you. Somedays you feel that its precipitation is falling heavy on your shoulders. Other days this cloud is so light you barely know its there. It will creep up and overwhelm you as it showers you with its gifts of anxiety. The purpose of this is to force you to touch base with your reality. There is so much uncertainty surrounding our day-to-day activities, uncertainty anywhere from not knowing what you want to eat to the uncertainty of not knowing who you are, how you feel, and what to do as age transitions you into various stages of life.
Questions are constantly probed but answers are very rarely delivered; this is the root of where uncertainty stems. There is uncertainty of whether or not every good deed will actually pay off. Uncertainty of whether or not every dollar you invest in your education will be worth it. The uncertainty of whether or not everything you allow your body to intake will have a good impact on your health. There is uncertainty surrounding the intimate relationships and friendships that you put forth so much of your love and energy towards; is it appreciated? will it last forever?
Meritocracy; we are encouraged to better ourselves and aspire to our fullest potential because individual merit will help us successfully cruise through each chapter of our lives. Yet this cloud of uncertainty will still hover over you. Uncertainty of whether or not your hard work and dedication to highly demonstrate your most prominant abilities will bring you the happiness, and the intrinsic and extrinsic rewards that you seek. Think critically, "follow fact not feeling", again uncertainty surrounds you because really who is to say "fact" has been proven to be superior to your instinct feelings?
We chase after our dreams; our dream man, our dream job, our dream home, and we create our ideal family setting so it feels like you're living the dream. However there is uncertainty - are your stars are aligned in favour of making your dreams reality?can we rely on stars?
So, with all this being said maybe we should encourage ourselves and generations beneath us to deal with the reality of uncertainty rather than emphasizing wishing, waiting, hoping, and putting on this facade that we know everything and have everything. Nothing is secure. Why continue depending on this thought that everything we hope for will come true will come true and will make everything fall into place nicely just the way we desire. Everything will fall into place nicely just the way you desire if you believe you can make it fall into place and do everything in your power to achieve. But you have to live with the uncertainty. Your efforts may actually leave you burnt out rather than feeling the satisfaction of accomplishing self-actualized goals- you just have to accept the uncertainity of whether success or failure is going to meet you at the end of the road. Prepare yourself to deal with life when things do not flow as smoothing as you envisioned. At the end of the day our ability to live with unanswered questions and a handfull of struggle is what makes us a strong person.Accept uncertainty likes it is your friend and not your enemy. No matter what....... it is going to hover over you.