HeArts are broken EverYday

Hearts are broken everyday, at times you may feel like its your heart breaking everyday.
Lately my heart has been breaking upon learning the reality of the battles and stresses that my friends, family, and even complete strangers have to endure. Every day is a new day and I wish their pain away. I pray that hearts will be mended; mended from the pain of being hurt by someone elses insentive actions, mended from the pain of losing a loved one because in this vastly changing society it becomes harder and harder to find people who love and can be loved, mended from the tragic curve balls life throws at you, mended from the financial stresses this recession has caused, mended from the dreams that are shattered, mended from the responsibilties and duties we loathe but have to do, mended from the cancers and illnesses that fill our hearts with fear. If hearts are broken everyday, we WILL be okay as long a these hearts are mended back together so that no one has to view life as a miserable journey each day. Next time you see a rude obnoxious person.. take a deep breath and tolerate it because somewhere within there is story as to why their heart is broken....and that is most likely what they chose to inflict their misery on others, not that this makes their behaviour excusible but at least we can relate to the harsh reality of broken heart.

Never regret....

Never regret anything that made you smile, laugh out loud, or made you take a deep breath that felt like you were inhaling life. Even if whatever you are doing feels right in the moment but deep inside you know in the long term it might not be the best for you: take it in anyways and live it up until the moment passes. We should not feel compelled to regret the things that make us happy. No matter how many people stand on the outside watching you with disappointed faces, critical comments, and act too quick to tell you how to live your life ; do not listen to them! do not let their negativety bring you down. We live in a diverse society, with diverse people, and diverse perceptions. Ignore the looking glass self and focus on your own thoughts of self. Never feel guilty for enjoying something that brings happiness to your heart. There is no such thing as dreaming wrong. No matter how different your dreams is from the dreams of other individuals in your like, just keep dreaming your dream. Only you have the power to set the stage for your dreams to come true.Never regret something that made or makes you feel like you are living life to the fullest.

Sacrifice

You cannot gain anything without making sacrifices in life. You cannot get that comfortable living without committing yourself to hours of hard work phsycially and emotionally. The truth is... no matter how much you hope and wish; nothing ends up falling into your lap. Some dreams do come true and it may feel like it happened over night but essentially a previous action or experience made your dream come true. Everyone has a destiny and everyone has the right to take control of their destiny. When things do not go your way, in many cases you can blame others but in MOST cases you can only blame yourself because some where a long the line there will be evidence of a bad decision or a time when you did not try hard enough to accomplish your goal. (Laziness and procrastation can steal your dreams)
Think of your vision of the future as a promise to yourself. Your heart consumes these ideal notions of what you want to happen during your journey through all of life's stages. Your heart is the one that loves it, enjoys it, feels the sense of accomplishment when it happens but your mind is what made it. Life is what you make it, so promise yourself that future and WORK to make it happen. We make short term decisions and long term decisions, follow your heart and make the decisions that you think will make your future brighter but always keep yourself prepared for the worse just in case because the unexpected is what changes our lives. Not everything can go according to plan, but if you try hard enough and practice your individual merits, then perhaps everything will RELATIVELY go according to plan?
We cannot survive without food. You cannot buy food without money. You can not get money unless you work. You cannot find work with out an education. Family educates and puts on in educational institutions. You have to pay for post-secondary education, and the cycle goes back to the fact that you need money to do that. You have to sacrifice time out of your social life to work. There are sayings about how time heals everything and that everything will fall into place, this is true but nothing will fall into place the way you want it to unless you do something to give your life direction. Along the way you will have to do things that you do not enjoy doing ( i.e dead end jobs we have all had them!) but in the end our efforts will gain us almost everything that we want, if its not what we want perhaps it will just get us everything that we need...and that should be more than enough. It can be painful making sacrifices but eventually we will gain something better from them. We just have to be patient, only time can tell the better we are going gain. You deserve what you worked hard for..... if you haven't worked then what do you deserve?

Step closer

Life needs direction. Sometimes we wish for things that we feel will complete our lives. We long for being on a track that will make us nothing but happy. People will do anything to make their future easier. Sometimes we just want to take control of our destiny. Sometimes it takes more than just making a simple wish. Sometimes life does revolve around individual merit. You get what you put in and life will be what you make it. Hope for the best, speak the truth, work hard for the dollar,respect others, always believe, and maybe that will put you a step closer to your dreams.

Longing for nothing

Ever get the feeling that theres always something else going on out there?Something that you are missing out on? Sometimes it feels like every place except for the location where you are has something exciting going on with fun adventureous things to do and great people. Feelings of "get me out of here" raged but no matter where you go those feelings seem to follow you. Where you are and what you are doing never seems good enough. Those moments do not last long, they pass and eventually you begin to feel foolish for ever wanting to be somewhere else. We are socialized to romanticize, fantasize, and hope for a renewed life. Who really has the power to constitute our current lifestyles as inadequate? Maybe exactly what we have is good enough but we do not see it because of all these false perceptions that impact how we internalize our reality. Perhaps the love, lust, success, and scenery surrounding us is more than a dream. People should be encouraged to appreciate what they have, take in where they are, and be happy with who they are surrounded by regardless of a conflict in interest with people. No one should long for a life that can never be theirs. When you're a single person, it seems like everyone around you is coupled, and you begin to feel that you are inadequate as a person because singleness is genearlly associated with loneliness. You feel compelled to be in a relationship. You admire the love and affection displayed by couples within in sight. However, we barely ever see the heartache, distance, and confrontations in the private sphere that could potentially harm the life of each individual in the relationship.Some people in a relationship often wonder if there is something else out there that they should be doing, they may have a fantasy about freedom and a life without being tied to someone or something. You spend a large portion of your life within the education system only so you can come out with the best possible knowledge to contribute to the enconomy through your job. Students anticipate completing school forever and cannot wait to have a routine life with a steady pay. People working want to go back to the careless student life. The young want to grow older for rights of passage and the old want to go back to being young again for the energy. Why cant we just be happy where we are? Live life to the fullest with the resources you have. Stop wasting energy longing for something you may not need or even truely want.

Hate when people leave.

Waking up on the verge of tears is never a good feeling. Sometimes I wonder why i'm always at war with myself constantly struggling to rid this emptiness. Anticipating a good birthday were the only intentions i have had. It has been a good birthday, my family could not have been more warm than they were today wishing me the best.Ttaking the time to enjoy the beautiful weather makes me think there is nothing more I could ask for. Completing undergrad and soon beginning a new direction with a grad program, beautiful weather upon us, and with a busy summer with many festitivities planned with friends and family I should be overwhelmed with joy right now, and everyday I am but today I am not. I don't get it. Instead I wake up with this emptiness, i can't find what is triggering these supressed feelings. Just like Elizabeth Gilbert in the bathroom sobbing endlessly. Theres this voice inside of me telling me to stop the tears and the hurt feelings conquering my heart but today I can't. Simple things like putting on make-up was a struggle as it just became flawed from the tears that I tried to so hard to pull back. I took the time to get out in the sun and enjoy the weather I have been longing for, once I did and realized how ridiculous this rollercoaster of emotions is I finally felt at ease. This war that i am at with myself has to do with the overwhelming fear of being alone. Im reminded of that time when i was thirteen and everyone that was so dear to me just got up and left, their lives took at turn for the worst with no turning back. Yet I look back and see how things got better for me personally. Why do I feel like I am going to loose everything I have accomplished? Over the past decade i dealt very well with drastic changes because negative persons and attitudes in my enviroment were elevated. Now at 23 I should feel a sense of self and instead im starting to feel a sense of loss. This time not so much over dramatic chaos but more because of new stages in life where I feel people are leaving me behind. I hate the feeling of emptiness, it doesnt have to be about birthdays and celebrating a birthday it has to do with the loss of unity that I have been starting to feel lately as time progress. I just hate when people leave.whats the point of making a mark on someone's life and then slowly stepping out of it as if it? it doesnt have to be this way. I just dont want people to leave, there is no fear in losing youthfulness, instead there is fear of losing agency. I feel like im planted in one spot and everyone else around me is excellerating forward. Simple things dont happen anymore, no messages after a while of silence, no birthday calls, cards or wishes after a long distance the way there used to be, no more stopping by. If growing older and growing up means growing apart then birthdays just arent going to be as happy as they used to be. It feels good to let out a hard cry, but I wish today did not have to be that day. Forever is more than just words to me.

Laws are Implemented for a Reason

Over the past week this pain has been riding on my heart after hearing the tragic news of two tweleve year old boys from my hometown as well as another man in his early twenties dying in a firey car crash. I just can't imagine the extent of the pain that their family and close friends are feeling right now. It often confuses many peoples minds to think that your life can change in a blink of an eye.
Unfortunate as it is that three young individuals lost their lives in an accident, the underlying question that fills many people with furiousness is was it really an accident? Is drunk driving consider an accident? We spend a large portion of our lives being educated by public insitiutions ; at a young age we are taught the consequences of our actions especially those that are associated with drugs and alcohol. So when you know the consequences, have an idea of why its wrong, and know that there are laws established to prevent that type of behaviour and you choose to do it anyways can we really say that the innocent people who lose their lives because of someone elses careless actions is an ACCIDENT? Never for once think that it will never happen to you.
There is a popular quote "its all fun and games until someone gets hurt" hurt is not a word that implies death.This quote fails to acknowledge that its all fun and games untils someones son, daughhter, mother, father, sister, brother, grandchild, cousin, spouse, life friend is killed. Hearts are broken everyday. Relationships often don't work out and leave deep scars on a heart, ones that take years to recover because some people were uncompatable. What if there is a strong relationship? compatibility? what do you do when there is a good healthy relationship and strong love for someone in your life whether its a significant other, a friend, or a family member , a type of love that you never plan on letting go and then bam one day they are gone out of your life and theres no turning back because some inconsiderate asshole made the decision to drive under the influence with their selfish attitude? The lives of innocent people are being cut short because someone else thinks that the laws embedded in our legal system do not apply to them.
We live in a place where we are granted freedom of speech and freedom of choice. There are so many victims of drunk driving who did not make the choice to be on the road with someone who was under the influence. Victims who did not make a choice to desert the people in their lives who love them dearly. Its not only the vicitims who suffer, many people in their lives will suffer from the void of that innocent person being gone. Those innocent people did not see the end of the road.They did not get a choice. But that one person made a choice to break a law and commited a crime that will leave many people in deep pain for a substantial period of time. People who had no say or no chioce in the situation that they are dealt with. People who did not know they only had a few years, months, weeks, days, minutes and seconds to say a few last words to someone in their life whom they love. The person who made the choice to drink and drive always ends up being the one that gets to continue life at the cost of someone elses happiness.
Laws are made to follow, so follow them.
Hearts and prayers will always go out to the families and loved ones of the innocent victims of drinking and driving.


Deepest sympathies to the families of Mason & Devon.